Truth and Knowledge

What is truth?

Think about it - what makes something true? Is it because we are told by some authorative source that some is so, or is it because we choose to believe it is true, or do we have to experience something ourselves to hold it as truth?

Let's say you find a word in a book and don't know the meaning, but you just can't pass it up because it's a crucial word in a sentence and nothing else makes sense unless you know what that word means. So you look it up in a dictionary. Ok, so now you know the meaning of the word (assuming the definition in the dictionary made any sense) and keep reading. But how do you truly know that the definition was true? Is it because when you use it in a sentence in an essay a year later, after much use in conversation, and your professor doesn't mark it as wrong? Now the exact meaning of a word is pretty trivial in most respects. You're probably wondering why I even bothered to write about it, especially since I just admitted that.

The thing is, if we can't even figure out if something as a word definition is actually true, then how are we going to determine whether or not we want to believe in something as important as God? We, as intellectual sentiant beings, must find our own ways to determine truth. Whether through one of the ways I listed or a combination of all of them, we must be able to find truth and decide whether or not to believe in it. For, after all, if you don't firmly believe in something, how can it be true?

I have something, an idea, I like to call a "quest for Truth and Knowledge." It is very difficult to explain this, because it is very complex and non-concrete. My quest for Truth and Knowledge is more of a way of living or thinking than anything else. I believe that we are all involved in our own type of quest for those very important things - Truth and Knowledge. I capatilize the those words purposefully, mostly to indicate their importance, but also to set them aside from the everyday kind of truth and knowledge. Now, most things are obviously either true or false, but there are many things beyond common sense that require great philosophical reasoning and deep thought. It is for these things (i.e. an existence or lack thereof of a higher being, meaning/purpose of life, sin, salvation, etc.) that Truth and Knowledge, as such, apply.
It is our quest for Truth and Knowledge, which is unique to each of us, which makes us who we are, to a great extent. How we live our lives consists of much of this quest. How we view the world; interpret what we sense (see, hear, feel, etc.), what we contemplate, understand, love, hate, and hold to be true (believe), etc., is as close to a definition of our own quest as can be found. The quest begins when we draw our first breath, if not before, and doesn't end until we exhale our last breath and pass into the "great beyond."

So, while a person who is capable of seeing the blue sky can say with certainty that the sky is indeed blue, a person who isn't so capable would be very likely to disagree. If you think about it, a blind person has no way of actually knowing the "sky" exists except that everyone around him/her tells them it is so. That blind person must either simply accept the sky's existence as fact, and thereby trust those around them; reason it out for themselves somehow, or not believe in the sky at all.

By that reasoning, much the same could be said of the relationship between God's existence and our choice of whether or not to believe in Him. We cannot, after all, see Him - we can only choose whether or not to believe in Him based on our own spiritual experiences, or lack thereof.
We must gather our own evidence, formulate our own theories, and find our own truths. If we are identified by our actions, personalities, etc., then are we not also identified by what we hold to be true, which is developed through our own quest for Truth and Knowledge? Memorizing the verse John 3:16 (For God so loved the world...) does not save your soul. Memorizing the entire Bible wouldn't do you a bit of good in that respect. It comes down to what you choose to believe, hold as truth, and use as such in your life. Perhaps that is what faith is.

"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house we will serve the LORD." - Joshua 24:15 (KJV)

Past, Present, and Future

Sometimes I look back and wonder where I would be if I had made some big decisions differently. There were many times when I could've chosen to stop being Homeschooled and instead could've gone into the public school system. I could have moved away from home early like my brother, but decided not to. I remember that time both clearly and strangely with difficulty. It's like looking at a broken mirror, it still reflects images clearly but it's hard to make sense of what you see. I do remember shaking my brother's hand at the bus station just before he boarded his bus north, then crying softly in the car on the way home. That was one of the few times I have cried in the last several years; I never realized how much it would bother me not having my brother around. But I don't regret the decision to stay, it was the right one for me, just as it was right for him to go.

My memory comes in bits and pieces. There are times when one family member or other will reference something that happened and I will have no memory of it whatsoever. It's easy to feel bad, guilty, or even pity myself when that happens. But I figure there must be a reason why I don't remember, and there are plenty of things I remember that part of me would rather not - the most difficult times of my life for instance which I rarely talk about. I'm starting to sound like a veteran of some brutal war or something, but really my life probably isn't much different than the lives of others.

I don't regret many decisions I've made, and I'm pretty happy with the way things are going now. It's looking like I'll finally be home in a place that won't be such a struggle to maintain or as stressing to live in as it was out in the country, though part of me will always miss the open landscapes and sense of peace and freedom only found there. I'm probably going to graduate next year with enough duel credit hours to skip a year of college. I'll be a year ahead of schedule, which most likely wouldn't be the case had I chosen to go back to public school.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to with my life though. I've narrowed down the options somewhat, though honestly the most fun ones are not really feasible. I'm most likely going to double major in History and English, but I don't know what I'll do after I get out of college. I've always wanted to get at least a Master's degree but I don't have a way to pay for that yet. Where ever I go in life, I hope that I can look back at this time and not regret any major decisions I will be making in the next couple of years. I want to live without regrets, and have some fun along the way. There is something I said to a friend once, "Remember the past but dwell in the present, while stepping boldly into the future." I hope I can live my life that way.

Bravery

It is amazing how unpredictable the strength of an individual can be. There is something inside each of us that either makes us strong enough in hard times to be couragous and withstand those trials, or determines that we are not strong enough to do so. There is no sure way of knowing how strong a person is until they are put to the test. I would like to think, as most people would, that in a fearful moment of great importance and stress that I would be capable of doing what needed to be done - that I could find the courage within myself. But there is no sure way of knowing if I would until it comes to that moment and I face that decision which is made in a split second; to be brave or weak.

I'm not saying being weak is always a bad thing. To be weak often means being gentle, something of which there is far too little of in the world today. What I'm talking about is the kind of bravery that sets you apart from the average person and makes you a person who has an important influence in some important event by the actions of a crucial moment.
However, there are different types of bravery. It is not always found in one moment or even a short time, but also sometimes in the actions of years (I have experienced this), or even a lifetime.

This has had me thinking about my life a lot lately. I've been wondering what impact or importance my life is going to have, what I'm going to do with my life, etc. In short, what is going to make my life matter? Will I go through my life essentially wasting time and waiting for something to happen, or will I step up and grab life by the horns, and actually make something of my time here on earth? The idea of simply trudging through life earning a paycheck or doing something of little significance is definitely not something I relish. I wonder if I will live bravely and be remembered. Everyone dies, not everyone truly lives.

Being brave, after all, is not being without fear, but rather being strong enough and willing to overcome it. As John Wayne said, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway." I believe we all have strength and bravery somewhere within us, however deep, if only we can find and use them.